Ok, as I sit here... just off of a conversation with Santa, and almost ready for my own off-spring to destroy the family room with Santa's bounty (ok, there will be destruction... me and the 4 year old got matching RC cars...), I thought I would pass along some helpful hints to file away for next year for those that might have guys they are buying for.
Of course, those Non-Guys are wondering why now? Why not last month?
Because the first thing you need to remember about guys is that we weren't thinking about Christmas last month... Christmas is today! Many guys were doing their shopping 12 hours ago. So, on to the hints...
- We need new boxers every few years. But we don't particularly need them for Christmas. In fact socks, t-shirts, pants, sweaters... We don't especially want those for Christmas either.
- Tools. Decrepit car parts... new or used. Tools. Toys. And tools. We like gifts that are difficult for the kids to pick up. And we like gifts that can break other gifts... ;^ )
- Gift certificates are also good for guys... especially Dad-Guys. And places that have food are always popular. In fact, we would rather get a gift certificate for food that we know is going to mostly go to taking the family out than getting a sweater...
- By the way, when I say food... I mean food. That doesn't include salads... it means meat. And remember, there is a hiearchy for food... At the bottom are the things that are food for real food... Like salads... Bunnies eat that. Cows are a step up, so steak is certainly preferable. Bison is like a mean, tough, ugly cow... so bison steak is even better. If we are talking seafood... shark. We like the danger.
And speaking of hunting and danger, that brings us to why we wait until December 23rd to shop. It is a biological imperative. The thrill of the hunt, and the danger of the chase. There is no challenge or danger buying before Thanksgiving... But there is plenty of danger taking on the daunting task of buying for a SWMBO two days before Christmas. (SWMBO is She Who Must Be Obeyed... wife/girlfriend/etc.)
Oh my God... can't you just wrap it... at least use a gift bag!
It's wasteful... Energy and resource intensive... and then there is picking the right paper or bag. So, add stress to that.
Eight years ago my Father-in-Law gave me a set of wrenches in a Sears bag. They are my favorite wrenches. My Mother-in-Law was shaking her head because of the "wrapping"... and I was too busy enjoying the present... THAT is my kind of gift bag!
Just this weekend, I gave a present to a friend of mine. It was a Hot Wheels car (he appreciated that I gave him a brand new '69 Chevelle). It was "wrapped" in six Kroger bags and two tards of shrink wrap... So, not only was it cheap, but it was challenging to explore.
While he would have appreciated it, at least it wasn't a pair of moleskin pants neatly folded into the glovebox of a crushed car... but that would have been VERY cool.
The bottom line is to remember that we are just bigger version of little boys... We like the same stuff. Sometime in bigger sizes (real cars instead of toy cars... who am I fooling, real cars ARE toys).
Enjoy, and look forward to next year.
Unless otherwise noted, all content of this blog is the property of Lane Bailey, ©2012 Lane Bailey.
I'd love to hear from you...
I think you hit a males Christmas ideal on the mark. Sounds good to me.
Is that what I've been doing wrong all these years, looking at it from the wrong perspective ; )
My son is 16 months old. He's getting his first fire truck in just a few hours. I hate to say it but I can't wait to spend as much time with him as I can for the rest of my life. Same holds true for Kim, Peyton and Addison. Merry Christmas and Lane, you're only young once...but you can always be a kid. Tool Time On my friend.
I'll pass this on to the ladies of my life so they know I'm not alone.
Jack - My wife still disagrees...
Christine - It's ok... We understand... also part of the guy creed is to smile and enjoy. Sears, Lowes and Home Depot all have big sales coming.
Paul - My son could identify a LOT of construction equipment before 2. We are expanding that now to other cool junk. I wouldn't replace that with anything.
Terry - Good luck...
Okay, share....what did Santa bring you this year?? Did you get some more tools.....or the obligatory boxers?
Cecily - Disney World with the family... disguised as the NAR Convention and Bloodhound Unchained. No tools or boxers.
Hi Lane, our daughter was recently divorced this year - this is very sad. ... Hubby left, and took all of his tools with him. So for Christmas, we bought her a set of basic tools, and my husband threw in a few extra "used tools" for her. She was thrilled! This is for a girl that had one screw driver, and a meat cleaver in her "tool box" LOL Hope Santa was good to you. Best wishes for 2009!
Mary - My wife likes having access to a full set of tools... including the one that runs all of the other ones.